{"id":701,"date":"2019-11-05T08:40:05","date_gmt":"2019-11-05T08:40:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.dexterzhuang.com\/?p=701"},"modified":"2023-04-29T02:01:09","modified_gmt":"2023-04-29T09:01:09","slug":"how-to-change-your-relationship-with-stress-for-good-backed-by-science","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.dexterzhuang.com\/2019\/11\/05\/how-to-change-your-relationship-with-stress-for-good-backed-by-science\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Change Your Relationship With Stress For Good (Backed by Science)"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
My eye twitched uncontrollably<\/em>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n I initially felt ecstatic as I transitioned into my first product management role at a startup. Yet soon afterward, the pressure I put on myself felt like the inside of a steam engine firing on all cylinders. The tension in my shoulders and my hunger to learn the craft competed for my attention.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The product broke regularly. I felt like I constantly fought fires without resources, resulting in long days in and out of the office.<\/p>\n\n\n\n What would\u2019ve been a healthy approach to my situation? Stay calm and level-headed. Strategically assess my opportunities going forward. Respect my boundaries. In a nutshell, navigate my career like a Jedi. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Instead, I got caught in the grooves of my self-critical thoughts. They spun round-and-round like a broken 90’s record. <\/p>\n\n\n\n It wasn\u2019t until my eye twitch persisted for two months that a switch flipped in my mind. I started paying closer attention to my body\u2019s needs. I dove into the research, starting with mindfulness tools for strengthening my mental resilience. <\/p>\n\n\n\n While I don\u2019t have a silver bullet for stress (and don\u2019t believe it exists except at Hogwarts), I\u2019ve discovered a collection of tools for handling stress that served me well to-date.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Burn-out is rapidly rising.<\/strong> For the first time this year, the World Health Organization released new evidence-based guidelines<\/a> on preventing chronic stress in the workplace. In a recent Gallup study<\/a>, 28 percent of millennials<\/strong> claimed to feel frequent or constant burnout at work, compared with 21 percent of workers in older generations.<\/p>\n\n\n\n More workers are leaving their jobs due to their chronic stress. In a survey<\/a> of hundreds of HR executives, 46 percent say employee burnout is responsible for 20 to 50 percent<\/strong> of their annual workforce turnover. <\/p>\n\n\n\n These trends look grim, but we don\u2019t need to become statistics. The battle for mental well-being starts with changing our day-to-day practices<\/a>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n In this article, my goal is to empower you with practical science-based tools and strategies to fundamentally change your relationship with stress for good<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n [wp-svg-icons icon=”pushpin” wrap=”span”] Save For Later: <\/strong>This article contains several tools that you can use throughout your work and life. Feel free to bookmark this article so you can refer back to a specific tool later.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n Believe it or not, there already existed a coherent model of stress a hundred years ago. <\/p>\n\n\n\n In 1908, researchers Robert Yerkes and John Dodson developed the Yerkes-Dodson Law<\/a><\/strong> (or the Arc of Stress<\/strong>, as I like to call it), which describes<\/a> an empirical relationship between arousal (stress) and performance (illustrated below): <\/p>\n\n\n\n What this arc-shaped chart shows is that performance increases physiological or mental arousal up to a certain point. Beyond this level, stress becomes too high and performance decreases.<\/p>\n\n\n\n [wp-svg-icons icon=”pushpin” wrap=”span”] Fork in the Road Alert:<\/strong> The rest of this section is a deep-dive into Yerkes and Dodson\u2019s findings. Read onward if you\u2019re a nerd like me and like to learn about how things work. Otherwise, feel free to jump to the next section for more actionable material.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n How did Yerkes and Dodson arrive at this model? By doing what scientists have done for generations \u2014 testing on Pinky and the Brain.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n They designed an experiment<\/a> where they applied pressure to mice in a maze, measuring how long it took them to reach the center depending on the pressure. If the mice turned in the wrong direction, they gave the mice low voltage electric shocks (simulating a moderate level of pressure). <\/p>\n\n\n\n Without any shocks, the mice meandered towards the center at their own pace. With a low voltage, the mice completed the maze faster, taking more correct turns. However, when the scientists turned up the juice (voltage), the mice moved erratically and took longer to reach the center. <\/p>\n\n\n\n One lesson I learned from their research was that I\u2019m extraordinarily lucky to be human and not a lab mouse.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Another lesson was that their model can be divided up into three different states: <\/p>\n\n\n\n Perhaps you\u2019re familiar with the term \u2018flow<\/a>\u2019 \u2014 defined often as being “in the zone” or a maximal channeling of emotions in the service of performance or learning. This concept is gaining a resurgence of popularity. The Arc of Stress helps explain how it relates to stress.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Let\u2019s recap. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Yerkes and Dodson\u2019s research reveals a Goldilocks Effect between stress and performance. Too little stress leads to lagging performance. Too much stress means deterioration and anxiety. Just the right amount of stress unlocks a state of flow, which helps you achieve top performance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The Perceived Stress Scale <\/a>(PSS) was created in 1983 by Sheldon Cohen, a psychologist at Carnegie Mellon. It\u2019s a simple 10-question scale that has become one of the most widely used tools for measuring perceived stress. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Disclaimer: <\/strong>This test is not a diagnostic tool, and I am not a licensed psychiatrist. Don\u2019t make medical decisions based on your test results without first consulting a professional.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Each of the questions is structured like the following sample:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Sample Question: <\/strong>In the last month, how often have you been upset because of something that happened unexpectedly? <\/p>\n\n\n\n Potential Answers:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n If the above sample is any indication, the PSS is a straightforward test.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Fortunately for us, there are several websites that offer free PSS tests. Be Mindful, an online mindfulness website, provides one here<\/a>. Try it out. <\/p>\n\n\n\n If your score approaches or exceeds 20 on PSS, then you are safely within the \u201cfeeling stressed\u201d zone. <\/p>\n\n\n\n But don\u2019t fear! The following sections will explain strategies from Stanford PhDs, neuroscientists, and mindfulness experts that you can use to rebalance stress in your work and life. <\/p>\n\n\n These ideas will help you handle stress regardless of the strategy you choose to employ:<\/p>\n\n\n\n We get so sucked into our busyness sometimes we forget about how stress emboldens our inner critic and hurts our bodies. Listen to your thoughts and body. They’ll tell you when you need to take action.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Don\u2019t try to do everything at once. Just focus on taking one step at a time. You\u2019ll feel incrementally better with each step. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Everyone has different needs depending on their body, history, and personality. Not every strategy is going to turn out to be effective. Try different approaches to see what works uniquely well for you. (Or if you prefer not to ride solo, find a coach to partner with.) <\/p>\n\n\n\n Tackling stress starts with recognizing how it feels in your body. <\/p>\n\n\n\n I regularly use two breathing techniques, Drain the Tension<\/strong> and Diaphragm Breathing<\/strong>, to immediately lower my heart-rate and anxiety levels.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Whenever I\u2019ve felt scattered and had a hard time focusing, this quick breathing exercise has helped.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Try these steps in a quiet place:<\/p>\n\n\n\n This exercise takes only 60 seconds to take effect, and it usually leaves me feeling calmer. <\/p>\n\n\n\n We take over 17,000 breaths per day<\/a>, yet many of us have pretty poor breathing technique. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Inspired by neuroscientist Rick Hanson<\/a>, this exercise helps you focus on improving your breath by engaging the diaphragm, the muscle between your lungs and abdomen. When activated, it helps trigger your body’s relaxation response. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Take these steps during a short break: <\/p>\n\n\n\n This exercise takes only a minute as well. I often do diaphragm breathing before important meetings, presentations, and interviews to relax my nerves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Drain the Tension and Diaphragm Breathing are just two of countless body-oriented tools you can use. At the end of this article is a download link for the companion PDF guide, which contains 9 more breath and visualization exercises.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n A surprising source of stress is our critical inner voice. <\/p>\n\n\n\n David Burns, a psychotherapist at Stanford Medicine, coined the term \u2018cognitive distortions<\/a>\u2018 to describe inaccurate thoughts that reinforce our negative emotions. This type of thinking can sound rational and logical, but really only keeps us feeling bad about ourselves. Common cognitive distortions include: <\/p>\n\n\n\n All-or-nothing thinking:<\/strong><\/em> You restrict possibilities and options to only two choices: yes or no (all or nothing).<\/em> Pay careful attention to your inner stream-of-consciousness and see if you can spot any of these negative thought patterns. <\/p>\n\n\n\n For example, you might notice your inner critic calling you a fraud or questioning your decision-making abilities. You might feel like you failed after making a mistake or two.<\/p>\n\n\n\n All of us experience negative thoughts once in a while, but for some of us, these thoughts can prevent us from reaching our full potential. <\/p>\n\n\n\n To combat cognitive distortions, try using these Dr. Burn\u2019s Daily Mood Journal<\/a>: <\/p>\n\n\n\n Now that you\u2019re equipped with tools to beat back your negative thoughts, you\u2019ll be able to prevent them from becoming a stressor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n One reason we often feel overwhelmed is we feel like we\u2019ve lost control. This reflection tool helps you assess which concerns you can actually control or influence.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Having a sense of control can be more impactful than commonly thought. For example, people tend to believe that high-level positions bring a lot of stress, but research suggests just the opposite<\/a>: Leaders with higher levels of responsibility experience lower stress levels than those with less on their shoulders. This is because leaders have more control over their activities.<\/p>\n\n\n\n This tool<\/a> is inspired by Stephen Covey, author of Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. <\/p>\n\n\n\n When your head is overflowing with concerns, start bucketing each thought into one of three circles: <\/p>\n\n\n\n Directions for how to use Circles of Influence:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Here\u2019s how I applied the Circle of Influence to my time as a new startup PM: <\/p>\n\n\n Doing this exercise helped me give myself permission to not worry about any items in the Circle of Concern \u2014 so I could shift more of my energy towards the items I control and influence.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Celebration is an underrated tool for reversing the negative feedback loop of putting pressure on yourself (which high-achievers are particularly susceptible to doing). <\/p>\n\n\n\n When you do work and put significant pressure on yourself, then you\u2019re more prone to anxiety and failing, which leads to more stress and pressure, feeding a vicious cycle.<\/p>\n\n\n\n To reverse this cycle, take advantage of our neural patterns. Our brains are primed to repeat behaviors with rewards. <\/p>\n\n\n\n When you celebrate, you trigger the reward pathways in the brain (via dopamine) \u2014 decreasing your cortisol levels, soothing your fight or flight response, and reinforcing your positive behaviors for managing stress. You close the loop on the work you’re doing on a positive note.<\/p>\n\n\n\n As organizational psychologist Judith Glaser says<\/a>, “Celebration and dopamine is a reward to our brains like treats are to animals.”<\/p>\n\n\n\nArc of Stress: A Brief Primer on the Science Behind Strain<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
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Breaking Down the Arc of Stress<\/h4>\n\n\n\n
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Take the Self-Assessment<\/h4>\n\n\n\n
Game Plan: Strategies for Rebalancing Stress<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Three \u201cStress-Busting\u201d Principles<\/h4>\n\n\n\n
Pay Closer Attention<\/strong><\/h5>\n\n\n\n
Focus on Just the Next Step<\/strong><\/h5>\n\n\n\n
Experiment Often<\/strong><\/h5>\n\n\n\n
Strategy #1: Cool the Fires<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Drain the Tension<\/h4>\n\n\n\n
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<\/li>\n\n\n\nStrategy #2: Defeat the Inner Critic<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
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Overgeneralization:<\/strong><\/em> <\/strong>You view a single, negative event as a continuing and neverending pattern of defeat.<\/em>
Negative Mental filter:<\/strong><\/em> You dwell mostly on the negatives and generally ignore the positives.<\/em>
Jumping to conclusions:<\/strong><\/em>
A.<\/em> Mind-reading:<\/em> You assume that people are reacting negatively to you without any objective evidence.<\/em>
B.<\/em> Fortune-Telling:<\/em> You predict that things will turn out badly without any objective evidence.<\/em> <\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\nMood Journal<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n
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<\/li>\n\n\n\nStrategy #3: Clarify What You Control<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Circle of Influence<\/h4>\n\n\n\n
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<\/li>\n\n\n\nExample: Working as a New Startup PM<\/h5>\n\n\n\n
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Reflection Questions<\/h5>\n\n\n\n
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<\/li>\n\n\n\nStrategy #4: Celebrate Yourself<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Use Your Brain’s Reward System<\/h5>\n\n\n\n
Three Rules of Celebration<\/h5>\n\n\n\n